Threesome anyone?

A couple of nights ago I was flicking through the multiple junk channels provided to us for an extortionate price and noticed a program called 3 in a bed.  Thinking it would be all about sharing your bed with your baby and how it helps bonding, building trust, confidence and security for your little angel, I highlighted it and pressed select.  OMG (or am I too old and uncool to use this abbreviation?) It was NOT about co-sleeping!  It was all about how marriages have been saved by threesomes.  I had one immediate thought...... I bet they don't have children!  If they did they would be too knackered for sex with each other let alone a third person.

And let's be honest.... when you have children there is never really a good time to have marital relations is there!  My children seem to have a sixth sense about this subject.  It doesn't matter whether it is 10pm or 4am, my children KNOW and they bloody wake up.  It starts with a little murmur which makes us pause, listen, carry on but we all know how it is going to end; a little cry, pause, listen, carry on; A burst-in-to-tears, hysterical 2 year old, pause, shrug of shoulders, get on clothes, leave the bedroom to go to the child.

I'm all for trying new positions but when you have to be conscious that one of you has a good view of the door 'just in case', it kind of puts a tinge on things.  And there is no such thing as being spontaneous any longer.  It has to be more planned..... Am I too tired?  When did I last shower?  Are they all asleep?  Will they all stay asleep?  Does the baby have her dummy in?  .......... I could go on and on.

And it goes further than trying to 'plan' a spur of the moment togetherness.  The pre-planning of the plan is never easy.  Maybe a family shopping trip to Tesco is not the ideal time to be purchasing the KY!  "Mummy, is that my new toothpaste?" - shouted loudly at the checkout whilst I am trying to avoid eye contact with the cashier.

I take sex very seriously.  Especially now that I have realised, 4 children later, that pregnancy is not a gift from God!

I have already started to pre-plan the plan for his birthday in November and our wedding anniversary next year!