Sunday, 1 May 2011

The Disastrous Dieter

Having checked that we are on a waning moon (rather than a waxing moon as apparently you are more likely to stick to a diet if you start it when the moon is getting thinner too) I pledged today would be the day that the diet (or should I say, healthy eating) would start.

I had sat myself down and lectured myself on the importance of realising this was a life changing event and that it was not something that should be started lightly or without commitment.  I vowed after hearing the power of my self-preaching that I would never abuse my body with food again.  I resolved that I could and would do this and that by eating junk I was not treating myself but punishing myself.

It felt good.  I felt uplifted and ready to go into battle with the flabby bits.  I visualised a medieval duel of skinny me with a huge sword charging at the blobs of fat and cutting them into tiny pieces before they dssappeared into the ground.  I pictured me sunbathing in a bikini this summer and turning up at my sister's wedding in October in the most slinkiest, sexiest number that just about covered the stretch marks.

Wow, I have power; I have motivation; I have strength;

I have no will power; I have failed on day one, I am weak; I can resist anything but temptation!  The large bag of peanut M&Ms in the cupboard was just too tempting.  And seriously now, what is the point in eating Ryvita for lunch and a salad for dinner when you have binged on chocolate, biscuits and cheese?

So I have decided to eat my way through the junk food and start again after the next full moon (reckon that gives me a couple of weeks).

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