"Resistance is futile" said the chocolate digestive to the overweight lady as she handed around the biscuit tin to her children before bed. "Only two" said the lady to the children. As she left for the kitchen in search of the lid the biscuits again rattled "you cannot fight us; we are stronger than you; we are many and you are one".
"Oh why won't this bloody lid fit on the tin" shouted the frustrated woman. That's it! She would never silence them. As she carefully chose the most broken biscuit (because the children won't eat the broken ones), she told herself "fine, just to shut you up I will have just one".
As the chocolaty, crumbly scrumptiousness worked its way from side to side and smoothed her taste buds, the other bits of the broken biscuit started wailing for their missing piece and cried with insistence to join their friend. The kind hearted lady could not leave these pieces in, well, pieces, so did the right thing and ate the others.
Soon there was quiet sobbing from the tin "Our friends, our friends, oh please lady, please let us join them in the warmth of your tummy. We were made to please and satisfy you. Put your trust in us and we will not disappoint. If you eat all of us really quickly it is just the same as only eating one of us". With this, and the knowledge that, yes, resistance is definitely futile she lifted the lid on the tin once more.
And then the gentle calling of the cold milk from the fridge tinkled on her earlobes. As she took a large gulp of milk to accompany the 5th digestive in an already crowded mouth, she heard her children "can I have another biscuit mum?" Alas, she could not shout "NO, TWO IS PLENTY".
Exhausted, stuffed and feeling yuk, the lady slumped on the sofa and looked at her children. The only comfort she could gain was knowing that her gluttony was saving her children from a life time of obesity.
No comments:
Post a Comment