Dear Future Wife / Partner of my Boys
I want to send you my sincerest apologies for the apparent lack of training your husbands / partners have. It has been with best intentions and perseverance that I have tried to teach them to put down the toilet seat when finished, wash their hands and turn the bathroom light off. I have reiterated time and time again about toilet etiquette but I fear, at this stage, they will be flying the coop with only the basics in toilet manners (in that they will use the toilet instead of a bush outside).
I also need to give you a serious warning and a bit of advice. I have tried every method found on the internet and a few homemade solutions to try and get them to aim into the bowl but without success. At some point during the relieving themselves process, they have been known to miss to bowl quite spectacularly. I have tried using ping pong balls in the bowl to aim at; I have tried reward based training; I have resorted to punishment training (no sweets for a week type thing) but it is still literally hit and miss with them. So my advice for when you are designing your bathroom in your first house, or looking at your first rental property, is make sure behind the toilet is tiled from floor to ceiling and sealed with the best sealant money can buy.
I want to further wish you luck and thank you for 'relieving' me of all house training responsibility.
With lots of love
Your most grateful
Mother in Law
At least they'll use a loo. Mine will still use any excuse they can think of to use the bush outside!!
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