Today....

Today.... I am a numpty!
Today I spent 2 hours ripping the house apart looking for my wallet.  I stripped the beds, empty the bin, drained the washing machine mid cycle, accused the kids, searched the kids, threatened the kids and then found it in the car carefully stowed under the driver's seat (where I had put it yesterday).

Today..... I am embarrassed!
I thought it would be a great idea to go to a boat jumble to get the kids some life jackets for our new adventures on the water and then take them to visit the sailing club I hope to join.  Well, they kept climbing in the boats at the jumble, jumping on the life jackets and saying loudly that they thought it was all "rubbish".  I can't even talk about what happened at the sailing club.... especially having lectured the kids in the car on the way about their conduct in public.  Put it this way.... I am glad we didn't meet the membership secretary!  I hate the feeling that my card is marked before we even arrive somewhere.

Today..... I am fat!
I joined weight watchers on line 2 weeks ago and so far have lost 7 lbs (great I know) but I am pretty sure that the lapses over the last 2 days will make up for that.  I couldn't resist but buy Cadbury chocolate eclairs (large packet rather than tube) whilst I was in the garage paying for petrol.  I didn't get them for me, you understand.... I got them to punish the children!  Their earlier behaviour meant no treats so the ultimate punishment had to be flaunting it under their noses!

Today ..... I laughed
A little, not a lot and certainly not out loud.  You see I was laughing at my eldest son and he hates being laughed at (well don't we all until we have had a bowel motion whilst pushing a baby out and then nothing is embarrassing any longer).

Twin 1..... "Mummy, where does Jam come from?"
Eldest son...." derrrr... Tesco, you ejit!"

It is only lunch time so I am waiting for the Today.... I cried, Today..... I loved, and the inevitable.... Today..... I wet myself trying to run after my 2 year old.